DOCTOR JOKES

WILL IT HURT MUCH, DOCTOR? A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?" The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?""A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?""A little bit.""Now stretch it over your head!" THE DIAGNOSIS A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?""Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.""That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks."Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer.""That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?""Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes." AFTER EFFECTS "How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg."Well, doc, 25 years ago ...""Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.""Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said, "No, everything is fine.""Are you sure?" she asked."I'm sure," I said."Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she wanted to know."I reckon not," I replied. "Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?""Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"